Like Waking Up

Today is 3 years and 2 months sober. Well – strictly speaking it’s 3 years, 2 months and 2 days, but as I have mentioned many times before I count from the day I made the decision to stop drinking. That was two days after my last drink. I only realised because I was on the phone to Dad and he made a silly joke about avoiding Corona virus but quite likes Corona beer.

In other news, all is well and there really isn’t much to report. I honestly think I end up doing so much processing because of the counselling course, that I have less to spill on these pages. At one point, this was my main outlet and I blogged almost every day. So it’s a little sparse when it comes to blogging, but this is still my favourite place to pour out and dissect my thoughts.

I guess I’m in the midst of a “gentle roller”, as bgddyjim once described it. No extreme hills with highs or lows, just contentment and predictability in a comfortable middle gear. I love it. It’s nice, it’s peaceful and it’s pleasant. Gosh, when I was trapped in addiction, this very place was what I feared the most. Jeez, if only I’d known how great this middle ground is and I might have reached for it sooner.

Oh, and I now have a hearing aid! I can HEAR properly again and I now realise just how much I was struggling – it’s crazy! I knew I was struggling, obviously, but it’s only now that I can really hear properly that it’s so clear just how bad it really was. It’s glorious and I was so happy I ended up blubbing a little when the audiologist fitted it. I’d been told it might not work because the problem was something with the middle ear – I didn’t quite understand it, but I was told at one point that there was a possibility I’d just have to live with it, so for it to work was a massive relief. I mean, I’m a trainee counsellor. Kinda need my hearing. So thank God for that!

Hah! Getting my hearing back is a bit similar to getting sober and getting my life back. Suddenly something you may at one point have taken for granted seems like the most precious, wondrous gift in the world. Like standing up in the shower. Like waking up with a clear head. Like feeling well. Like not regretting yesterday.

It’s a good day to be alive. I am so grateful. For sobriety. For hearing. For all that is in my life.

Today I’m not going to drink.