23rd January 2021 – 3 Years Sober

I have completely lost the spark when it comes to blogging. I’m not sure why this is – in the beginning I seemed to have so much to say and reflect on that I sometimes often wrote posts every day. Now, less so. I thought about what I might want to say when I hit this milestone – THREE YEARS OF SOBRIETY! – and it seems like the sort of time when I should at least list all the good things that recovery has given me. And yet, the 23rd came and went and I didn’t get hit with any inspiration to fire off a blog post.

Three days later, here I am. Do I have anything to say about it?

Uhm…

Has sobriety changed my life? Yes. Completely. Fundamentally. Overwhelmingly. Magically. Thoroughly. Massively. Totally. Absolutely.

Do I miss what came before? No. Never.

Waking up sober hasn’t lost its sparkle. Nor has being able to stand in the shower every morning. Nor has functioning fully with the lights on AND someone home lost its shine. All those things, and many more, still seem miraculous to me. I haven’t lost sight of what I could have lost had I not got sober and never have I failed to recognise how the life I have now is all because I ditched alcohol.

So do I have any words of wisdom? Don’t know. Probably no new ones. I can only reiterate what I’ve felt since really early on in recovery: sobriety has given me my life back and I wouldn’t change back for anything in the world. It’s so worth it, there is nothing about the drinking that I miss and I am so grateful that I finally listened to that voice within that I now know was there all along – not this.

23rd January 2018 was the day I made the decision. That was the day I knew in my heart I wanted a different life to the one I had been leading. My last drink was actually 21st January 2018. But I celebrate the decision. That’s the day that is important to me and what I celebrate.

If you are where I found myself back then, all I can say is that for me it has been so, so worth it. Sobriety has given me the life I wanted, the life I dreamed of and a life I cherish. The kind of pinch-my-arm life I get to have now. At first it was strange and uncomfortable but the rewards came thick and fast. There is nothing I regret about ditching booze except sometimes wishing I’d never been fooled by addiction. Then again, it was part of my story and it’s made me who I am. And would I think of standing up in the shower as a miracle had I not experienced all that? Who knows.

Here we are now. Three years down the line. Life is good. It’s sometimes hard and it’s sometimes uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel sick with anxiety and sometimes I doubt myself. But never have I wished I’d not got sober.

Today I’m not going to drink.

21 thoughts on “23rd January 2021 – 3 Years Sober

  1. Know how you feel about blogging – I just don’t have the motivation to write. I also find it hard to comment, but I adore you and I want you to know how chuffed I was to see you’d posted today.

    “Waking up sober hasn’t lost its sparkle. Nor has being able to stand in the shower every morning. Nor has functioning fully with the lights on AND someone home lost its shine. All those things, and many more, still seem miraculous to me. I haven’t lost sight of what I could have lost had I not got sober and never have I failed to recognise how the life I have now is all because I ditched alcohol.”

    This struck a chord with me! I’d have to replace a few key words in this paragraph, but my life changed monumentally on the 17th of January 2014. It seems ridiculous that it’s been that long, but it truly changed my life, my health, my perception of everything. So I know… I think I know how you feel?

    If I could wish for anything it’d be that everyone who’s still struggling with addiction could read yours and others words and could find their own peace.

    You touch and inspire me daily, even if I’m quiet (I never write, I never call…). You may just have inspired me to write today! ❤🙏

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Congrats! For me the annual milestone of quitting loses more and more importance every year. We have similar dates (of course I was too rattled by giving up alcohol to even notice the date, so mine is “mid-January”) and this year, mid- January slipped by without my even noticing the relevance.

    I think on any topic, there is only so much you can say. My blog was initially a ‘running blog’ but after fifteen posts, I was out of material. Now I literally blog about what ever pops into my mind (most recently the Karate Kid). The therapy of writing is important to me, and it also gives me something to do during those evening hours when I’m not drinking wine. I know it’s not for everyone, but, it’s certainly helpful for me. I hope your sobriety continues to bring you so much joy. It’s really a special gift you’ve given yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I think you hit the nail on the head: “only so much you can say” – that’s a bit how I feel! I do have so much going through my head at the moment, perhaps it’s here I need to process it all again. Doing a counselling course has meant I’m FOREVEEEEER looking at and processing every last thought so I wonder if I’m just wrung out emotionally because of that, leaving very little to say?! Well. Maybe this is where I once again need to head – often! – to create a bit of order in this stormy mind of mine!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy 3 Years, Anna! You definitely have been my motivational light throughout my journey!!! Thank you for always keeping it real. I’ve been thinking about you wondering how you’ve been? How’s the training going? I go in cycles too on blogging. Right now I’m pretty jazzed and learn many tips connecting with my super heroes out here. Big hugs, high fives, and even a smooch on the cheek for your 3 years. Keep rocking it my friend! Never underestimate the light you provide others❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Likewise, my friend!

      The training is tough – it really does require all I have, but in a good way. I do find that between course work, client work, personal therapy and all else that goes with it, I’m feeling like a wrung out dishcloth but I do feel a tiny bit of spark returning now that we’re into the new year. 2020 was a STRANGE one. And doing this training online is a real test too, but it seems to be working out. It’s harder than seeing clients face to face, but I figure it’s doing me good to be up against it. Can’t wait for the world to be more normal again. BIG HUGS BACK!!!!!!! xx

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  4. Congratulations on Three Years! That’s an awesome time in recovery. I remember my third fondly. It’s not easy to keep writing day after day. Write when it strikes you, recovered life is about enjoying life as it is.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! You’re still a rockstar and you have no idea how valuable all your advice – especially in the early days – has been to me. And yes, you’re right, I will write when it strikes me as opposed to feeling “I have to”. Funnily enough, just writing a post today has made something spark off in my head. I think I’d forgotten how much it helps me process things to work through them here in the blogosphere!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. I’m the same way… writing helps me sort things out. If you saw some of my first draft posts you’d be like, “dude is freaking nuts!” Chuckle. Thank you for the outstanding compliment. I am grateful.

        Liked by 1 person

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