Yet Another Way

There seems to be a huge disparity in how seriously people view this crisis. Yesterday was the first time in my life that I actually felt like slapping Bambino across the face. No, I never would. I never will. Nor have I ever. But God help me, I wanted to. I wanted to slap the stupidity out of him. Bambino at 15 years of age, seems to adopt the position of “it’s not dangerous for me so I can do what I want“. Precisely the sort of selfish, ignorant and downright dangerous attitude demonstrated by the stockpilers and that faction of society who defy the guidelines we are all asked to follow.

What’s hard about this? Stay at home. Don’t congregate with people who aren’t in your household. No non-essential errands or travel. Let’s do what we can to slow the spread of a virus that is potentially fatal for the vulnerable among us and together we’ll get through this. Capish?

Some people seem to without question follow advice and do so calmly and I consider myself to be one of them. Whilst a lot of this worries me a great deal, both for myself and loved ones and for the world at large, I have trusted the advice. We have not stockpiled and we have without grumbling followed guidelines around social distancing. No, I don’t believe I’d get anything worse than being very ill from this virus should I get it. In fact, in some ways I sort of think it’d be better to get it (because it’s likely I will at some point) and just have it over with. But that’s not what we’re trying to do here with these guidelines, right? These guidelines are designed to keep us all going and ensure that when those who are at great risk get the care and treatment they need, and the way to do that is to do our best to avoid them all getting it at once.

Mu-UUUM, it’s not gonna kill me and it’s not gonna kill you either. And [friend] doesn’t have any symptoms“, a defiant Bambino whined at me.

You’re not to go“, I told him.

He went. As he stomped down the stairs I shouted after him “YOU ARE NOT TO DO THIS” but he went ahead. I did everything except physically grab him or stand in his way. Let’s just say I broke every parenting rule in the book last night. I called my child an idiot, a twat, “because of idiots like you” and a selection of other harsh statements that rolled off my tongue. I was livid. I was literally screaming at him. I was so angry it gave me a headache, yelling at him about what these guidelines are actually about and the reason we need to follow them. I finished off with “fuck off to your room“. There you have it – and on Mother’s Day at that. A fine mum I am.

I was equally furious, but bit my tongue, when Bonus Son #2 decided to catch a cheap flight to Budapest a couple of weeks ago. You know, for a break. Their mum is a chain smoker since her teens and also suffered a collapsed lung several times in her twenties. Yet they all seem to come and go and just hey-ho, whatever like there’s nothing to worry about. The Prime Minister was telling the country that the best Mother’s Day present this year is to stay away. Nope. And even if no one in the immediate family would die of the virus, we’re still spreading it with no regard for those who might indeed fucking DIE. What is the problem?

It’ll suck horse balls not to see Bonus Sons #1 and #2 for months – of course I don’t want that – but better that, than contribute to this thing spreading faster than it needs to. And by ignoring the advice that’s what we’d do. This social distancing thing will only work if we all stick by it.

Yes, I went for a run yesterday. In the park. I can’t tell which groups of people belong to the same household so assume others were following guidelines too. We all seemed to give each other a wide berth as we passed. Where people were walking four-wide, I went over on the grass to keep my distance as I passed. Downstairs at the entrance a neighbour and I passed each other. We clocked each other coming and I motioned to her to go first whilst I stepped aside and gave her more than the advised two metres. We could still say hello and how are you. No problem. That doesn’t seem to be so difficult. Weird yes, but we understand this and why we need to do this. For all I know this lady could have a respiratory condition. For all she knows, I could. So we follow guidelines in order to protect each other.

What doesn’t work right now is hanging out with those you don’t live with. It’s shit, but we can’t invite the Bonuses to come stay. Nor can we go and see them for lunch, not that there’s anywhere open to have lunch in the first place. But surely it’s worth it if it means that we can slow the spread in order to make sure those it’ll be dangerous for get the care – or ventilators!! – they need, which they won’t if we allow this virus to explode at lightning speed and we all get sick at once.

So there was my anger and I unleashed it on Bambino. Fucking teenager. I proceeded to print out a huge fact sheet that explained in detail why these guidelines are in place and I swear to God if he displays this attitude of I’m-alright-Jack one more time I’ll go schizo.

Beyond that, to have me give a firm NO and still proceed to head out, is possibly the most defiant and disrespectful thing he’s ever done, so I’ve adjusted his world to the lifestyle to which I’d like him to get accustomed as a result. All devices gone and WiFi passwords changed. He’ll have access to his laptop to get to his school work but that’s it for the next couple of days.

Until he gets the concept, I will treat him like a toddler. Him heading over to a friend’s, could mean – if he’s already a carrier – he passes it to his friend, who passes it to his family who in turn might pass it on until it does get to someone who isn’t in the “it won’t kill me” category.

Yes, I’m stressed. Yes, I lose my mind with fury.

I can tell you one thing though. I’ve never felt more revolted at the idea of having a drink though! Imagine drinking when all this is going on. It makes me feel sick. I guess even this coronavirus shit storm can in some way show me yet another way in which I’m so unbelievably lucky to have escaped active addiction. Hallelujah.

I still believe the world will turn out a better place when all this blows over. I truly do. Some people, like stupid teenagers (who, in their defence, are wired to be selfish), are being idiots, but hopefully they’re a minority.

Well. There’s my rant. I have probably demonstrated what a shit person I really am but honesty reigns supreme here.

How’s it affecting you? Tell me what’s happening where you are?

Today I’m not going to drink.

19 thoughts on “Yet Another Way

  1. Do NOT think you are a shit person. On no level were you shit in this scenario. I also had a crappy Mother’s Day with teenager (15 yrs) and close to teenager (12 yrs) just generally being selfish and belligerent. I am seriously losing my shit with people who won’t follow the guidelines (ie the ‘golfers’ out yesterday who clearly did not live in the same household and were much closer than 2 meters away from each other). I have to go to work, I have to keep going to help and support the NHS …. so bloody stay indoors if you don’t need to go out and don’t spread the virus to people who need to be in work!!!

    Teenagers are tricky. There are loads hanging around together round our area which is just making me mad!

    See I’m ranting too 🤬🤬
    You are not alone and well done you for kicking your teenagers ass!!
    Claire xx

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I just private messaged you because I was thinking of you and THEN came in here to find this.
    1. You are NOT a bad mum, you’re a bloody great one.
    2. Everything you’ve told him is for his own good and for the good of others.

    What I realised in 2011 (when my rogue teen was 15) was that I no longer could control the rogueness. I reckon it was 2012 before I stopped shouting profanities and started shrugging/eye-rolling behind his back a lot instead. I do none of these things now because the energy all of it took nearly sent me to the loony bin. I am now more inclined to suggest things than shout or instead of that I may use some other idiot/twat as an example and hope he realises what he’s best to do.

    Like you I was glad that I got to a place where I was not addicted to something that would have exacerbated the crazy!

    Listening to them when they’re determined they know best is hard. I feel for you (and you know I do)!

    My usual long comment could be longer if I start writing about the fuckin’ twat virus, the fuckin’ twats I have to serve on my checkout (because I’m an ‘essential worker’ quelle surprise) and all the other unnamed effin’ twats in the world…so I’ll leave it at that xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Same Haha xxx My daughter (the one I live with) made food for me (while I was sorting out the washing). Rock and Roll!

        ZZZZZzzzzzzzz

        Liked by 1 person

  3. yes, tension is high out there for sure. I am watching so many families all but crumbling emotionally at the moment for various reasons ( this is one!) You are NOT a shit person, you are a mom and someone who is concerned. No one was prepared or expecting the crisis, so we are all adapting as best we can. Big hugs….and sending blessings..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bloody teenagers. You’re right they are hardwired to see themselves as the centre of the universe and also see themselves as often invincible. It goes with the territory. You were great, they still need telling. My mum would have done the same. She was scary! But I’m glad she was the way she was because I was a little shit at that age too. Hard to believe but true😉Jim x

    Liked by 4 people

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