Actual Effort and Deadlines

Bambino has turned into a motivated, enthusiastic and career focused force of nature – he now has two potential jobs lined up that are better than his paper round: one at a pub to clean up in the kitchen and wash up dishes on Sundays, the other as yet unknown via a text that arrived this morning saying “please call me, I’m an employer and I got your letter” so he’s getting bites, and quickly too. Not only that, he has also set his sights on a training course to qualify as a youth football referee. A local football club has already confirmed they’re always looking for youth referees and pay £16/hour. This is almost twice the hourly rate of working at a rehab as a support worker, which is what I did last year. Not that the money is the ultimate motivation and certainly in my case it never has been, but flippin’eck, that doesn’t hurt, does it?

Me, I can’t seem to get on it with quite the same level of gusto.

Well, with the counselling studies I have. Sort of.

I’ve been very unlike me and the case study essay that’s due tomorrow I finished off Friday. Whilst this may still seem like leaving things to the last minute for people more organised and sensible than I am, this is bloody unheard of on Planet Anna. ACTUAL EFFORT and STARTING MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES BEFORE DEADLINE. Holy cannoli, I have never done that before in my entire life. Ever. And it feels really good, as well as very strange. This is the day before deadline and I don’t need to do a thing, I can just chill out and perhaps read it through. I actually also feel I’ve produced really good work.

As for paid work, I definitely need to get my sizeable behind in gear.

I scan the available jobs every day and scrunch up my nose. I check all the rehabs as addiction is what I want to focus on, but there’s nothing yet. Fuck that, I can’t sit on my arse like this – I need to hit them Bambino style. Yesterday he went down the High Street again handing out his CV-letter and this morning aforementioned text landed. I need to do the same. So I’m going to. Once again hit the rehabs with a letter and my CV, setting out what I do know and what I want to learn and do, please take me on and I’ll make sure you don’t regret it. Clearly sitting here waiting for ads to appear is getting me nowhere fast, whereas Bambino is really hitting the runway and taking off. Yep, gonna emulate my teenager, clearly he knows what he’s doing.

Hubby has just headed off to the airport, Prague this week. He’s in the middle of an excessively stressful period and will barely land between work trips and non-stop work over the next month or so. His job has always meant pressure, as a job inevitably will when you’re in a very senior position at a global company, but I don’t think I’ve ever known him to feel anxious before. Friday night, anxiety and insomnia hit me. What I didn’t realise until I gave up on trying and started to read in a renewed attempt to get to sleep, was how Hubby was also lying awake. There we were, lying next to each other, my leg thrown over his, reading books and both unable to sleep. We went for a long walk Saturday and talked through stuff. I couldn’t do his job, don’t know many of us could and I guess that’s why not many do. As lovely as I’m sure it is to be the boss and command a nice salary, he has to deal with a shit storm of stress and frustration.

Hubby isn’t one to wobble, he’s the kind of person, who, if he were to discover the world was on fire, would calmly survey the situation and figure out a sensible and rational way to solve it. Me, I’d be panicking and going mental, making the mess worse. Hubby stands firm and doesn’t get rattled. Even when he’s rattled, he doesn’t appear particularly rattled. The most violent reaction I can provoke in him is a roll of the eyes or a furrowed brow. As my mother put it during her speech at our wedding dinner: “even when a storm hits, you stand steady“. It’s one of countless good qualities Hubby possesses and that I freaking adore. He stands on extremely good legs, by the way. Gosh, those pins were carved by angels and very talented ones at that.

Well, didn’t this turn into quite the Ode to Hubby and Bambino? Well. They are the inspiration I need right now. One focused and driven, the other calm and methodical (with excessively good legs to boot). So that’s how I’m going to take this week on: calm and focused.

What are your challenges and goals for this week?

Today I’m not going to drink.

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