The Most Loving Thing

This morning when hubby and I were sitting on the sofa with our coffees I had that feeling that today was important, you know when you see a date in your calendar and know there’s something you needed to remember but can’t immediately work out what it is. The next second, after I’d mumbled “23rd of May” and tasted the words for a brief moment to jog my memory, I remembered: today is my four-month anniversary of being sober.

YES!!! Yes, yes, yes! 

Who knows what tomorrow will bring and I know my sobriety is quite a new and possibly fragile state of being for me so I’m not going to be cocky and feel I have it all figured out, but FUCK ME THAT’S SO AWESOME! It genuinely is the best gift I have ever received and the most loving thing I will ever do for those who love me. Who knew I had it in me? I sure as hell didn’t but here we are. Perhaps I’ll slip up, perhaps I’ll be saying “today is my four-month anniversary of being sober” again one day but I’m not going to let that matter right now. Right now I’ve done this! Right now I’m the woman who has been sober for four months and I am really proud of it.

I’m going to leave it there today.

And today I’m not going to drink. I don’t have the time, if I’m honest. All this living is filling my days and sweet Lord is it good to be alive, alert and present. Please never let me take this gift away from myself again.

3 thoughts on “The Most Loving Thing

  1. I would love to have that same feeling. I am a month and 15 days sober. If you would have asked me a month ago if I thought this was possible, I would have said no. Now, even four months seems doable. Thank you for the posts. Helps to not feel so alone. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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